The Disgrace-ish End......

"Disgrace" is an amazing story, that really allowed me to play with my emotions. In the beginning I could not see how this story was about post-colonialism, but not more about Lurie and his pathetic life-style. However, once introduced to his daughter Lucy, and her life on the "farm" I began to understand the concept. Lucy lives amongst many Africans, and even her helper Petrus, has stepped over her and built a home for himself and one of his wives. During the attack, all I could think to myself was how horrible it was and how unfair it was to happen to Lucy who always tried to do good and understand the Africans situations. However, it really began to irritate me that she was so silent of the entire incident. I am sure I can not understand her because I have never been brutally attacked the way she has, but I think her decision to not care to seek revenge is more than just her pain getting in the way. I felt that, she was giving in for being a white lady. "What if...what if that is the price one has to pay for staying on? Perhaps that is how they look at it; perhaps that is how I should look at it too. They see me as owing something. They see themselves as debt collectors, tax collectors. Why should I be allowed to live here without paying?" (158). This idea, really summed this entire story up for me. Lucy was acting liberal, but gave into this idea of someone having to owe someone else for living. The idea that once whites enslaved blacks, now has to be turned around for Lucy to feel that she has done her civil duty.

At the end of the story, when Petrus tells David that he will marry Lucy, it really threw me off. I was shocked and angry. I truly felt that Petrus knew about the attack when it was going to occur, and I felt that everything he did was fully beneficial only to himself, and no one else. He was a sneaky bastard, and if anyone says anything differently I'd be really confused.

In terms of post-colonial thinking, I'd have to say it shows a lot about the conflict of those who got colonized and those who came and colonized. It's interesting to see the different between the urban and country living that David and Lucy portrayed. David seemed to live in a white-person dominated area which ruled over the lower colored class (Suraya). In Lucy's position, she was the one living in fear, always hearing that "it is not safe for a woman to live alone". She was attacked, and others even lived in fear putting fences and security systems around their properties (Ettinger).

I sympathize for Lurie. I do not hate him, I just think that he is mis-educated. His emotions do not allow him to truly see beyond racial differences and social variations. However, I guess the apple does that fall from the tree. Even though Lucy is not racist, she is closed minded and allows her guilt of the acts of her ancestors ( or whoever did the colonizing act) take over her logical decision making (i.e. agreeing to marry Petrus).